The Trouble With Kidnappers
by Kira
Summary: Josh is kidnapped, and it's up to the fan club to rescue him....
1. Default Chapter

It was a great and sunny day in Washington D

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers (1/?)

Author: Kira [tenshidejiko@yahoo.com]

Rating: PG

Category: General Wackiness & self-insertion

Author's Notes: This just came to me last night and I had to write it. It's for the harem, and I hope you don't mind that I used your names. 

Summery: Josh is kidnapped and its up to the fan club agents to rescue him.

It was a great and sunny day in Washington D.C. when Joshua Lyman decided that today would be a fine day to walk to work. He'd done it once before when protestors were blocking the roads, but he was an Outdoorsman, damn it! 

Large black shades on his face, Josh swaggered down the streets of D.C. like he owned them. People gave him second glances as he walked by, and he smiled quickly or waved before continuing on. One person commented on his backpack. How could they? He'd had this thing since law school, it was lucky. Plus, for a bunch of people who wanted things to be convenient for them, carrying expensive and heavy briefcases was a little hypocritical, wasn't it?

Continuing on his way, Josh decided to take a detour through an alley, since it saved him ten minuets. With his usual level of confidence, Josh made it halfway though before he heard a voice behind him. 

"Hey, what's up, skipper?"

Skipper? What the hell?

"Skipper?"

"Why don't you take a ride with us," a man said, coming into his view. He was hitting a led pipe against his palm. 

"Um, I have to get to work," Josh tried. 

"No, not today," another man commented. 

"Oh really?"

"No, not really," a third man said from behind him. 

"Nite!" a girl cheerfully quipped as the third man placed chloroform over his mouth, sending him instantly to dreamland. 

**

Kira Starr, fanfic writer and website designer, sat outside next to her pool with her laptop ready, typing away. She was so close to finishing a fanfic, another Josh angst-y story. She couldn't forget her roots as an ELF (Evil Lucas Fan), and had to do all in her power to torture the characters of her obsession. Of course, you always have to have happy endings, and she was currently working out the smiles in the end. 

That was, of course, until Sam Seaborn came running into her back yard and jumped over the table. 

"Kira!" he cried. Finishing her bout of laughing, she spoke.

"You remind me of that deaf-mute guy in The Stand when he finds out about the bomb," she commented. "But he made this weird sound."

"I did, you just weren't listening. For some reason, I feel like I've done that before," Sam replied, taking a seat in one of the plush lawn chairs. 

"Yeah, funny, isn't it?" Kira smiled. "You can talk, though."

"I know."

"But only out of the right side of your mouth," she continued. 

"Hey, its my toothpaste, it has this numbing action, and you know, your teeth are your best friends, take-"

"Care of them and they'll take care of you. Yes, Sam, we all know that," Kira finished for him. Sam raised his eyebrows, wondering how she knew word for word what he said to CJ after the root canal. "Anyway, what's wrong?"

"Oh!" Sam exclaimed, standing up again. "Josh has been kidnapped!"

"Seriously?" Kira asked, looking over the rim of her glasses. Sam nodded eagerly. Kira closed her laptop and set it on the table before pulling out her cell phone, covered with an American Flag. "Amber, it's Kira. Yeah, I know, wasn't he cute in that picture?" Pause. "No, this isn't a social call, we have a 1017 in progress." Pause. "No, that's a 1013, Mulder-napping. This is a 1017, a Josh-napping." Pause. "Well, mosey on over here! Sam's here!" Pause again. "Yes, I know, I'll be careful. Hey, have you ever seen The Stand?" Pause. "Right, I knew that, of course not. Well, get here." 

Hanging up the phone, Kira once again turned to Sam. 

"Now, tell me everything you know."

**

Amber, fanfic writer, shut off her Early Edition tape and set it back with the thousand other tapes in her collection of recorded shows. It took her eyes to adjust a moment to normal life from the bad reception in her EE tape as result of no cable. Once again able to see, Amber picked up her purse and rushed out of the house, yelling to her family she'd be back in an hour. 

It took about ten minuets to make a left out of her driveway, making her wish she had a plane or something. No matter, for right after she turned, she saw the oddest thing – a Toby for Presedent sign. Hmmm…being the obsessed West Wing fan she was, Amber immediately connected it to the West Wing, meaning Toby Zeigler. Odd, he wasn't running for president, was he? 

A second glance proved futile, as the sign and its holder were gone.

**

Toni McIntyre, fanfic writer and Joanie universe creator, got offline and headed off to write the sequel to her story 'A Mentor for Joanie' when her phone rang. When she picked up the phone, there was no one there. It was then that she realized it was the OTHER phone, and dived over the couch to answer it before her thunder twin, Owen. He gave her an odd look and turned back to the TV.

"Hello, Agent Toni here," she greeted. 

"Agent Toni, it's Ron Butterfield. There's a situation down here in Washington. We're going to need you to get here as soon as possible," Ron said. 

"Situation? What happened? He didn't get drunk again, did he?"

"No, ma'am, Mr. Lyman is missing."

"Missing!?" Toni exclaimed, causing her mother, who just entered the room, to shush her. Retreating to her bedroom, Toni could resume her conversation without the skeptical ears of non-believers interrupting. 

"Yes, ma'am. Mr. Seaborn has already gone to retrieve Agent Kira."

"I'll be right there," Toni answered, and grabbed her bag before rushing out of the house. 

**

Josh woke up tied to a chair and a blindfold over his eyes. Thinking for a moment, Josh wondered how his kidnappers were going to know he was awake. Keeping himself perfectly still, Josh stretched out his hearing to see if anyone was in the room with him. 

"Make that outlined with black," someone said.

"Black? The letters are brown. That'll look like, well, it'll look bad."

"I want it outlined it black!" the person commanded. 

"Fine, fine."

"Good. And make sure you spell President right this time."

"I did last time."

"No you didn't, and Analyne had to run away to avoid embarrassment."

"Analyne probably wanted some doughnuts."

"Yeah, well, she was spotted by Amber anyway."

Amber? Josh knew Amber! Yea! He was saved. 

"She won't know anything until its too late."

**

Amber arrived at Kira's house just in time to see Sam and Kira walking from the backyard to Sam's car out front. Pulling up behind Kira's white car, Amber parked her black sidekick and hopped out to join them. 

"Hey there," she greeted the pair. Kira smiled and hopped over to her. 

"Hey! We've gotta get going. Ron already called Toni, she's going to meet us at HQ," she filled Amber in. 

"Great, good, okie dokie," Amber smiled. 

"C'mon, I just got a new sound system," Sam quipped. 

"Awesome! Can we listen to my new Maaya Sakamoto CD? Please, please, please?" Kira jumped up and down. 

"Is it in English?" Sam asked.

"No."

"A half-hour, that's all."

"Yea!" Kira pulled the CD out of her magic bag and hopped in the front seat. Amber took her place behind her, and Sam turned on the car and pulled out of the drive way.

"You know, Chicago is 16 hours from D.C., Sam," Amber took the role as the voice of reason. 

"Oh." Sam turned to Kira at the stop sign. "Hey, write us a fast car ride." Kira nodded and pulled out her favorite notebook, her Secret Agent Sam™ one covered with pictures of Josh and wrote a few lines. Instantly they were in D.C., right in Sam's parking space at the White House. 

"Hey, I love your notebook," Amber commented before Kira put it back in the Magic Bag. 

"Thanks." 

"Later," Sam waved, walking into work. Amber and Kira waited a moment until the cost was clear, then walked into the West Wing. Spotting Donna at her desk, the pair smiled and waved, then snuck into Josh's office. Donna followed, closing the door behind her and pulling the fourth hook on the coat rack. A large door opened up in the form of one of the bookcases swinging open, revealing a spiral staircase. 

The group descended and walked into HQ. The large room filled with computers and pictures lining the walls was the center of the fan club world. Kira found herself a rolly chair and scooted around the room to a computer. Amber did the same while Donna shut the entrance and turned on the re-router; a phone to transfer all Josh's calls down here. After pulling up some information, Amber turned to face Kira.

"Where's Toni?"

"Here I am," Toni greeted, walking down the stairs. 

"Hey there!" Amber stood. Kira turned to face the others in the room.

"We have a serious problem," she said gravely. "And we're going to have to call the other agents." 

**

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers (2/?)

Author: Kira [tenshidejiko@yahoo.com]

See part one for notes and disclaimers

It was the scariest book Josh had ever heard of, and, because of his assistant, had heard the contents of. The Republicans: A History was the kind of book that publishers should turn away from their doors right away, who cares if 43% of Americans claim to be one type of Republican or another. It just should not have been written. Though, Josh thought, some of those 43% say they're independent Republican, so they can be swayed from the dark side. Hmmm…

"Are you enjoying this reading, Mr. Lyman?" his torturer, a 20-something woman named Rochelle, inquired of him, placing the book down on her lap. 

"Umm, no, why?" Josh said, but it came out like this instead: "umm, mh, uh?"

"You were smiling," she answered. Damn! Josh thought, she caught me not paying attention. He must have smiled unconsciously while thinking of a plan to convert independent Republicans. 

"Oh."

"Shall I continue, or are you ready to tell us what we want?" Wait, they wanted something? All he had to do was tell them what they wanted and he could leave? Why didn't they say that in the first place!?

"Ohkh!" 

"Really?" Rochelle asked. Josh nodded. Only too happily, the captor tore the tape from over Josh's mouth, causing him to yelp.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, but it was necessary."

"Not really, but okay."

"We want to know – " The rest of Rochelle's sentence was cut off as the wall exploded, the result of a large wrecking ball crashing through it. Cursing, the woman left Josh to fend for himself as the building fell down around them. 

"I paid my rent, what the hell is going on?" she muttered, marching up to the men standing just outside the now large hole that used to be a wall. "What the hell is going on!?"

"Are you aware that this is a corner?" one man asked of her. She nodded. "Hey!" he shouted to the operator. "This is a corner. Take it down!"

"Umm, excuse me, but this is **my** abandoned warehouse." Rochelle announced, pointing to the now half-dilapidated building. 

"Not anymore!" the man exclaimed, letting out a bit of evil laughter. "This property has been bought by Walgreen's!"

"What, are you taking over the world or something?" Rochelle asked. The minuet those words left her mouth, a bag was put over her head and she was dragged away. 

Meanwhile, inside the warehouse, Josh sat, still tied to a chair, wondering what they wanted to know. Surly he'd get out of this place unscathed, right? The author wouldn't allow him to get harmed. Seeing a copy of the fic on the floor, Josh craned his head to the right to see the name of the author. 

Kira? Oh damn. She was the Josh POV angst author, wasn't she?

His day was **not** going good. 

Of course, that was the last thing he thought before a piece of ceiling fell on him, knocking him unconscious. 

**

"You know what?" Kira asked out of the blue while the group was sitting down for lunch. 

__


	2. There's one on every corner

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers (2/

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers (2/?)

Author: Kira [tenshidejiko@yahoo.com]

See part one for notes and disclaimers

It was the scariest book Josh had ever heard of, and, because of his assistant, had heard the contents of. The Republicans: A History was the kind of book that publishers should turn away from their doors right away, who cares if 43% of Americans claim to be one type of Republican or another. It just should not have been written. Though, Josh thought, some of those 43% say they're independent Republican, so they can be swayed from the dark side. Hmmm…

"Are you enjoying this reading, Mr. Lyman?" his torturer, a 20-something woman named Rochelle, inquired of him, placing the book down on her lap. 

"Umm, no, why?" Josh said, but it came out like this instead: "umm, mh, uh?"

"You were smiling," she answered. Damn! Josh thought, she caught me not paying attention. He must have smiled unconsciously while thinking of a plan to convert independent Republicans. 

"Oh."

"Shall I continue, or are you ready to tell us what we want?" Wait, they wanted something? All he had to do was tell them what they wanted and he could leave? Why didn't they say that in the first place!?

"Ohkh!" 

"Really?" Rochelle asked. Josh nodded. Only too happily, the captor tore the tape from over Josh's mouth, causing him to yelp.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, but it was necessary."

"Not really, but okay."

"We want to know – " The rest of Rochelle's sentence was cut off as the wall exploded, the result of a large wrecking ball crashing through it. Cursing, the woman left Josh to fend for himself as the building fell down around them. 

"I paid my rent, what the hell is going on?" she muttered, marching up to the men standing just outside the now large hole that used to be a wall. "What the hell is going on!?"

"Are you aware that this is a corner?" one man asked of her. She nodded. "Hey!" he shouted to the operator. "This is a corner. Take it down!"

"Umm, excuse me, but this is **my** abandoned warehouse." Rochelle announced, pointing to the now half-dilapidated building. 

"Not anymore!" the man exclaimed, letting out a bit of evil laughter. "This property has been bought by Walgreen's!"

"What, are you taking over the world or something?" Rochelle asked. The minuet those words left her mouth, a bag was put over her head and she was dragged away. 

Meanwhile, inside the warehouse, Josh sat, still tied to a chair, wondering what they wanted to know. Surly he'd get out of this place unscathed, right? The author wouldn't allow him to get harmed. Seeing a copy of the fic on the floor, Josh craned his head to the right to see the name of the author. 

Kira? Oh damn. She was the Josh POV angst author, wasn't she?

His day was **not** going good. 

Of course, that was the last thing he thought before a piece of ceiling fell on him, knocking him unconscious. 

**

"You know what?" Kira asked out of the blue while the group was sitting down for lunch. The girls turned to her as they sat in the White House Mess Hall, all four of them huddled around a singular square table. The other assistants whom were employed by the White House sat at the next table over, each of them trying to make it look like they **weren't** trying to spy on the collective bunch. 

"Hmm?" Donna hummed as she pulled her fork out of her mouth. 

"They're watching us," she replied, pointing to the group with her chopsticks. 

"Yeah, and its kinda freaky," Amber spoke up. 

"Maybe we should, well, do something about it," Toni suggested. 

"Wonderful suggestion," Donna quipped. Instead of receiving glares, the assistant just got smiles. They knew where her sarcasm came from – Josh – and held a degree of it themselves.

"Maybe we could call them over," Amber said. Donna shook her head. 

"No, they like spying on people and talking about what they heard later," she told them. 

"How do you put up with it?" Toni inquired. 

"I send emails about the food – its great to start rumors and see where they go."

"Really? Was that you the one time when the email went down?"

"No, but that's what gave me the idea," Donna admitted. 

"We need a trap," Kira stated out of the blue. Three pairs of eyes landed on her. "We need some way to trap these kidnappers, or at least one of them to get information."

"And how do we do that?" Donna asked. Kira closed her notebook and stood up. 

"I'll meet you at HQ," she smiled. Amber nodded knowingly and continued the conversation as she walked off. 

"So, what's your opinion on obsession?"

**

"Joshua?" Josh opened his eyes to be blinded by an intense white light. A momentary fear gripped him as he thought he was dead. Was he? Would the author allow him to die?

"Hey, skipper, what's up?"

"What the hell is it with people calling me that!" Josh cried, sitting upright. What was around him scarred him almost to death (again). It was pink – more like a lighter red, filled with feminist posters and pamphlets, with a closet filled with pantsuits and full suits, shoes and work. Yes, work. Lots of it. Papers and laptops littered the nearby table. 

It was like CJ haven. 

It **was** CJ haven! Spying a poster on the back of the door, Josh almost fell back onto the cot. It was large, with a picture of CJ that said: CJ for President, she's the woman's woman. 

"Joshua, are you alright?" one asked. 

"Where – where am I?" he croaked. The group giggled.

"Why, you're in CJ for President headquarters!"

"And we're the members of CJ's groupies!" 

Josh screamed. First some weirdoes kidnapped him and now he was in the custody of CJ groupies. Like having one CJ on the Earth wasn't enough. 

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" One asked. 

"Oh, TJ, you're such a shipper," someone laughed, punching TJ in the arm. 

"Is it a crime to want to see Joshua and Claudia Jean together?"

This caused Josh to scream once again. 

The girls giggled and went back to their work.

**

"Has anyone seen Rochelle?" Analyn inquired when she walked into the new headquarters after a day of displaying (and fixing) her Toby for President sign over on Zeigler Street. Incidentally, it was right near Amber's house. How the enemy was so lucky as to live near a Zeigler Street was beyond her. 

"She disappeared after the warehouse was demolished," Corey yawned. "How's the campaign going?"

"I think it would help if the candidate knew he was running," Mackenzie commented. 

"That and the fact that the presidential election isn't for awhile."

"Wait," Analyn started. "We could change that."

"Huh?"

"Get someone to kidnap the writer and make her change the election date!" Analyn jumped up. "C'mon, we kidnapped Josh, we can kidnap her!"

"Don't you think she'll see us coming?" Mackenzie asked.

"Okay, we'll hold other agents for ransom!"

"Yeah!" Corey agreed.

**

Agents Claire and Eileen were sitting outside a café in Washington DC for some lunch before making their way to HQ. It was a great little place that tried to look like a French Café in the middle of a monument to American Government. 

Little to say, it was a little out of place. 

After finishing, Claire and Eileen stepped out of the café into the sunlight (as it was still a beautiful day) and put on their Josh Sunglasses. 

They were on their way now. 

That is, until a Toby for President sign distracted them. They couldn't see the Toby groupies running up behind them and placing bags over their heads before shoving them into a van and driving off. While making their getaway, they didn't notice Claire and Eileen press their tracking buttons.

On the computer station in the Josh Lyman Fan Club Agent HQ, two red dots started blinking…

**

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers (3/?)

Author: Kira [kira@foreverbright.net]

See part one for disclaimers and such. 

"We're going to move the capitol," Shawn announced, standing on a podium in front of a room full of attentive people. "It's much too cold in the winter here – the capitol needs to be in California."

"Aren't the CJ Havenites going to claim they thought of that?" one faceless crowd member shouted out. 

"We have a plan to keep the Havenites under wraps."

"What is that plan?" another inquired. Shawn shook his head. 

"I can't announce that in a room full of people!" Muttered oh's and okay's filled the silence as the people realized how stupid that sounded – tell a plan in a room full of people. "I can say it has to do with backfire; in fact, that's the name of the plan: Backfire." Dustin groaned from his seat off to the left. What an idiot!

"Thank you, Shawn," Melissa smiled, standing up and moving to the podium so that to prevent Shawn from spilling anything else. Shawn took the hint and started walking back to his seat, tripping over a cord in the process. The room shook with laughter as Melissa smoothed down the front of her plain black skirt. 

"We are the ones who will take this election – we have planning and punctuality on our side!" she called out, causing the audience to jump to their feet. 

Yes, they were going to take the vote because they were the best – and no group of "agents" was going to be able to stop the Sam Groupies.

**

While the Sam Groupies were conspiring to move the United States capitol back to Sam's home state of California, the CJ Havenites were catering to Josh's every need as he lay on a pink bed with a red blanket draped over him. At least it was more comfortable than the cot he'd woken up on.

Girls continued to move about the small bedroom as they continuously checked up on him and spewed theories on his relationship with CJ. Well, most were about that. Quite a few were about CJ and Toby, and Josh recalls one being about Sam and CJ. 

These shippers were insane!

Their questions centered on things he'd seen and what he thought they meant. When he told them he didn't think anything should be taken the way they were taking it, they looked as it they were going to cry and rushed out of the room. 

"Hello, Joshua." TJ entered the room, carrying a tray containing his dinner. There was one thing he had to admit – TJ really did know what he liked. Pushing the fact that the reason she knew all this was because she was a Josh/CJ shipper author, he smiled at the level of dedication one person could have for him. 

Just like Donna. 

As TJ came closer to him and set the tray down on the small nightstand to his left, Josh wondered how Donna was doing. Was she worried? Was she looking for him? 

Wait a minute! What about **his** fan club! He had a large following, just like those Toby lovers and these CJ groupies now; what were they doing to find him?

Did they even know he was gone?

"Joshua? Joshua, are you alright?" TJ's voice floated to him, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

"Yeah, fine," he replied. In reality, his head was pounding and he couldn't move his left arm. "What happened to my arm?"

"Oh, you broke it," TJ answered a little too cheerfully. "SJ came in and put a cast on it. But don't worry, SJ's a doctor."

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel better," Josh quipped, moving to sit up. A nice charred cheeseburger sat awaiting him. 

"You should be as good as new by the fourth part," TJ smiled. 

"That's good, this is taking entirely way too long. Hey, you know me, do I have a fan club like this?"

"Yes," TJ answered, her voice quivering. 

"Yes? What's wrong?" TJ took a moment to collect her thoughts, then shifted on the bed.

"Your fan club is the most feared. That's why nothing's happened to you that doesn't come out good in the end. They have agents, a secret headquarters, and the best people in charge."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. I'm hoping you get better before they find us because I don't know if we can stand up against them. They're like the CIA of groupies. You should see their web site."

"There's a web site?"

"Yeah. I go there for information sometimes," she replied. "For my stories," she added quickly. Josh smiled. He had a friend here, a friend that might be able to help him get home. 

**

"Hey, guys?" Toni called, turning from the Agent Tracking Screen. Many green dots covered the globe, many of them converging on their present location. However, two were red and blinking wildly. 

"What's up, Toni?" Amber asked, walking over to her. 

"Claire and Eileen have activated their distress signals."

"Do you think they've been kidnapped?" Donna asked. 


	3. It's Rescue Time!

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers

Title: The Trouble With Kidnappers

Author: Kira [kira@foreverbright.net]

See Part 1 for notes and disclaimers, as I'm not one for large headers at the beginning of each part.

Our intrepid hero is currently caught in the land of the CJ groupies, their headquarters slyly disguised as a modern loft. After his initial shock had worn off, the missing deputy was moved off into a less pink bedroom. It was in this bedroom that he lay, TJ being the one who's charge he was placed in.

Maybe that was because she was a CJ/Josh shipper.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Josh sighed and slowly opened his eyes. True, he should be trying to find a way out of his "prison," but the bed was so soft and warm…

"Joshua?" TJ asked from the doorway. Josh looked over to her, desperately trying to keep a smile on his face despite her loathed usage of his first name. Only his mother or Donna could call him that. The mousy girl smiled in reply and quietly entered the room, careful to shut the door behind her. 

"How are you feeling?" she inquired, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Actually, I'm fine," he replied, pulling himself from under the covers and sitting Indian style next to her. 

"Wow, that was a quick recovery!"

"Yeah," Josh sighed, "the author wants me to do more actions scenes, so she healed me up real quick."

"Oh."

"Hey, if there's a CJ group, what about mine, why haven't I encountered them yet?" Josh asked, changing the subject.

"Well, umm…I'm sure they're looking for you," she stammered.

MEANWHILE –

"What do you mean, obsession isn't fun when you can't share it with someone else?" Toni asked, swirling her straw in her drink.

"Well, if Kira and I hadn't met each other, we probably wouldn't of done some of the things we have," Amber explained. "It's a proven fact." 

"Yeah, I can see where you're coming from," Toni sighed, taking a sip of the aforementioned pop.*

(*note: I'm from Chicago, the only place in the world where we call soda, pop. Live with it. At least I said something. ^_^)

"I really don't have anyone to share with," Donna spoke up. "Well, the person I would share it with is the object of mine, so it wouldn't really work."

"That's true," Amber replied. Donna was so lucky to work with *him* every day.

BACK TO JOSH – 

"Yeah, just taking their time," Josh agreed. "Hey, if you're a CJ/Josh shipper, are you a member of my fan club?" TJ blushed. "You are!" Josh exclaimed, but noticed his mistake and muttered an apology. He had to be quiet in enimy territory.

"Well, I'm not very high on the totem pole – I just became an agent-in-training since I'm a part-time member."

"Part-time?"

"CJ's my idol," she confessed.

"So, who *is* in charge then?" Josh asked.

"You mean you don't know?"

"No."

"There's a website and list and bumper stickers and you don't know?" TJ rattled off the list of JLFC items.

"In my own defence, I know there's a fan club out there – they've yelled my name at various events – but I don't know *who's* in the club," he defended himself, standing up and starting to examine the room. There was one window, though the fact that nothing seen thoug it seemed to move, it could be assumed that it wasn't real. Okay, he couldn't get out that way. The door was obvious, but he didn't know what lye beyond. 

"There are many people in your fan club – from lurkers to very vocal members," TJ continued, not taking in the fact that Josh was trying to find a way to escape. 

"Yeah," Josh replied, distracted as he searched the room. 

"Hey – what are you doing?" she inquired. Josh looked over at her, a box on his head. 

"Huh?"

"If you want to leave, you can, but I'm sure the other groups aren't as nice as us," TJ commented, standing with her hands on her hips. 

"What if I want to find my group?"

"Well…"

"Will you help me?" he asked, giving her puppy-dog eyes. How could she resist the Lyman charm? It was the only weapon that no female JLFC member could resist. 

"Alright," she giggled. Josh smiled – he was going to go home!

**

"Hear me, my fellow fans! Washington D.C. was selected to be the capitol of the United States because, in that time, it was the geographical center of the young country. Now, it is an isolated city that holds a hand over all of us. No longer is this capitol in the center of this strong nation. If Americans can support a capitol on one extreme, can they not support it on the other?

"I propose that we help to start the movement which would move the capitol to California!" 

Cheers rose up from the large crowd around the speaker, streamers were thrown into the air, as well as anything else they could get their hands on – including other people around them. 

The speaker, a one Kyp, stepped back as a few overexcited fans came crashing onto the stage slightly dazed. Kyp kicked them off the edge and straightened his jacket. 

"Wh blah blah….ha..be?" someone shouted, the message lost over the noise. The entire auditorium went silent. 

"Why move it to California?" the person shouted again. 

"What?" Kyp breathed, stepping up to the microphone. "Who are you?"

"Isn't this the Star Trek convention?" the person asked.

"No!" Kyp yelled. 

"Can you at least tell me why California? I'm really interested now. Whoever wrote your speech was great."

"Because it's Sam's homeland!" The crowd went crazy again, not noticing the lost Star Trek fan wander out muttering something along the lines of 'Sam Beckett's not from California.'

"Well, let's get to work!" Kyp shouted, pumping his fist into the air. The crowd started to disassemble off to meet their group leaders. The Saminites were always extremely organized. 

**

"They have him."

"They do?"

"And they haven't told us?"

"No. Apparently, one of them is aiding him."

"So desu ka."

*whap!*

"English, please!"

"Oh, really?"

"We need to get him."

"He is the key."

"We need help."

"Yes, yes we do."

The seven voices faded out….

**

A large dump truck backed into the construction zone. They were at a Walgreen's to be…

…therefore, they were on a corner. 

Cars drove by, un-phased by the Walgreen's on the corner. Where there once stood an unmarked wharehouse, construction had started on yet another Walgreen's.

A group of ill-defined men walked onto the zone. 

"Where's your hard hats!" the foreman yelled in his macho voice as he stalked towards them.

"We need to find your boss – we heard he was here," the first one spoke up.

"He ain't here – just left," the construction man spit. The group backed up a bit, disgusted by the man's behavior. 

"Where'd he go?" another asked. 

"I don't know! Get out of here wid your questions!" After this yelling, the group decided to follow his advice as a large chair came falling towards them. The chair landed near one of them, and he paused, noticing something on it. It was a backpack.

"Guys, look!" he called out. "It's Josh's backpack! And his pants!?!" 

(note: that last part was added by Amber when I left my notebook to get a pop at lunch.)

"You idiot!" another yelled, smacking the discoverer upside the head. "Those aren't his pants – it's a piece of his pants!" Sure enough, there was a piece of Josh's brown dress pants right next to the much abused backpack.

"Whut are you still doin' here!" the foreman yelled. The group dashed off, but not before retrieving the items. 

**

"Where are they, it's been four whole scenes!" Eileen cried. "I want to be rescued!" 

"Stop shouting or they'll come back!" Claire whispered harshly. 

"Who?" Eileen inquired. "Our captors haven't been around for hours. Have you heard anything out there – " she pointed to the door " – for awhile?"

"No," Claire admitted. "So, what do you think we should do?"

"Escape," Eileen smiled. From her watch came a laser, easily cutting through the shoelaces that had been used to tie them to chairs. After freeing her hands, she quickly released her ankles and jumped up, victorious. She ten freed Claire and move off towards the door. 

"Isn't it great that we get all this spy stuff?" Claire smiled, quickly unlocking and opening the door.

"Amber and Kira had them left over from Secret Agent Sam," her fellow escapee commented. 

"Ahh," was all Claire replied. "You know what we need?"

"What?"

"More agent mobilization. Where are they?"

"Call them." Claire nodded and pulled out her phone. After Toni's voice mail came on, she dialed another number. 

"Moshi moshi, Kira desu," Kira answered, trying to practice her Japanese in time for class. 

"Speak English, will you?"

"Of course, what's up?"

"Where are you?"

"I went to speak to someone and ran into Len," the VP answered. "We need to get together. I'll call Toni and Amber. Meet me under the Washington Monument at sundown." Being ever mysterious (and distracted by Len talking about her next story), Kira hung up. 

"Well, we have a meeting."

"Oh, goodie."

**

"I'm just saying that obsession isn't unhealthy," Toni stated. Ginger shook her head. 

"Toni, there's nothing good about him," she responded. The communication's aide had joined the group for a late afternoon snack.

"You just don't known him as well as us," Amber spoke up.

"Whatever," Ginger sighed. "How do you guys get in here, anyways?"

"We're friends with the president," Toni smiled. It was then that her phone (the special one) rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, Toni," Kira greeted. 

"Where are you?"

"Around – wait, are you still in the mess?"

"Ummm…yeah."

"It's been four hours!" Pause. "I have a … plan. Meet me at sundown at the Washington Monument. And bring as many agents as you can." Amber, who'd been listening in on Toni's phone, smiled.

"Okie Dokie!"

And now, our agents are going to rescue Josh….hopefully.


End file.
